When A Phone Thief Is Busted

Why do we not have tails? Why do we eat with our mouths and not our nose? Why are all girls beautiful? Why do we tend to yawn when others yawn?

Why is it that when a thief is caught, everyone who ever lost something to a thief steps out and makes him feel their displeasure? Have you never experienced such an incident in Nigeria?

Were! Your own don bi today!
I love to name names, but my friend wants to be anonymous. Let’s call him ‘Paul’. Paul and I were talking about an incident that occurred in UNILAG. A ‘laptop thief’ was caught and students came out to beat him, even one who lost his laptop two years ago. The thief was shouting that it was his first time, but that did not make a difference. 

It is tradition. Every day is for the thief, one day for the owner of the phone. Paul said to me, ‘That one day, it won’t matter if he was the one that stole from me or not, as long as he deals in the area of my loss, I will clobber him to my heart’s fill.’

To Any Phone Thief (When You Are Caught)
Now, Nonso does not know if he will join in and beat the beautiful sunlight out of you, but I sure know one part of me will feel like there is justice when you are being pummelled by others. Take a care and desist. Jesus loves you. Can I hear a hallelujah?


  1. Are you ok with 'mass beating' of thieves?

  2. Thiefs suck. Actually that is funny you mention the mass beating because my friend went to Nicaragua and someone stole something from a house and THE WHOLE BLOCK chased after him and beat him pretty bad. I'm not sure if that's okay or not but if I was a thief, I'd definitely think again about stealing if that's the retaliation I received.

  3. @Annah Wow, I'm so honoured. You certainly are gonna make it to 'famosity'. Would be nice if they would just disappear (the thieves, i mean). but they can't for now, and so we clutch our purses and wallets tighter than ever.

  4. You lost your phone too? Accept my condolences, Nonso. I know how it feels. Great blog, by the way.

    The Akokite

  5. @ The Akokite
    Thank you, man.


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